Three months since my last update. We did all come through having Covid all right. My husband did continue to improve and we are back to our normal activity levels altho I still cannot smell or taste much at all. My digestive system now needs frequent enzymes and it has taken a LONG time to get my wind back while exerting myself. But I have started walking every day and not pushing myself beyond my limits. We are taking supplements to heal and to keep our blood flowing smoothly.
But the small community I work in – at a health food store – is seeing a terrible spike in cases as is most of the country. This town had not really seen much activity yet so many people have been in denial. Now the ICU is full and patients are being transported out. I had to put the shop back to drive thru service only because exposed people seemed to be coming inside for their zinc and I don’t know if my immunity has waned.
Today is the American Thanksgiving. Not much for holidays myself so maybe I am thankful for one that isn’t stressful for a change. We canceled plans and are making dinner just for the four of us. I miss my family terribly but I haven’t seen some of them in years. Covid had nothing to do with it. Long distances and shortage of time and money keep us apart. But I am thankful all are well and unscathed.
In spite of all the challenges this year has been great in many ways for our family. Our crazy plan to downsize seems to have come just in time. While I felt trapped 12 months ago after first moving here – and the space is still suffocating at times – I now feel sheltered and tucked away. I know it’s not forever, and we are seeing opportunities we never had before. The winter is going to require patience and perseverance emotionally for all of us. But I believe no matter where we are there is something to be grateful for. Keeping that in focus makes all the difference.
Life has become a strange, surreal experience. So many emotions – not all of them bad. We are barely into this experience yet it seems a months worth of living has taken place in the last two weeks. I should be journaling the days but I am just trying to keep up.
Unlike so many we are not on lockdown. We already homeschooled. We didn’t do much to begin with out in the world. Biggest change is we stopped eating out completely (Americans don’t think masks help anything so no one is going to be breathing on or touching my food thank you.) My kids are definitely missing going to see their friends. We went last Sunday for one visit – probably the last for a long while.
We are fortunate to still be working, and I am working more than ever. The little health food store I help out at has seen almost doubled sales the last two weeks, understandably. I stocked my stash of supplements a month ago, but as everyone begins to wake up to a new reality, we are seeing many scared and frantic customers. Many have no experience in natural health and want someone to tell them what they need. Speaking of which.. I was going to write a post on immunity but there’s plenty of info out there on that. Here is a great article.
Our shop operates out of a building that was a fast food chicken restaurant many years ago. Because of this we have a handy take-out window and have begun to funnel customers through our drive thru only. We were the first business in our small town to stop letting customers inside and the owner thought it was “too soon”. My belief is we are way behind the curve not ahead of it. But by the end of the week many businesses in town followed suit.
My almost 90 year old boss refuses to stay home. This shop is her life. Her immune system is probably better than most, I agree. Yet you cannot escape the effects of time. Our bodies are not immortal. Friday she went home early, so tired. A cold north wind had blown in with the rain and the added exertion of fetching orders had worn her down. For the first time in my three years working there she elected to not come in on Saturday. She thought we should close up that day and I assured her I was fine for the four hours we schedule that day. I was really worried.
Today she emailed that she was better, but didn’t know a person could be that tired. She was afraid she had become ill. I was too. I wish she would stay home, but I think being stuck at home for her would be a worse fate. People are so thankful we are still open. I hope it will remain so. We are licensed as a food store, so hopefully!
My construction worker husband obviously can’t work from home either, and they are still up and running. Thankfully next job is out of the city this week. Some in our family not so lucky with the job situation. Tricky waters.
Spring has arrived and it’s a comfort to have this beauty all around us. Brilliant greens, Texas Bluebonnets (sorry no pics yet), and the garden is loving all the rain altho I’m ready for a dry spell.
Our family has decided to give the plague a Texas nickname.. “The Caronya”. We don’t got the Caronya yet, (and probably already did) so we shall keep pressing on. A frantic customer paused to ask about my family this week. When I told her we had two teenagers and two big cats in a tiny house her eyes got really big and she said she was going to stop complaining. I laughed. Yes, and so much to be thankful for, not the least of which is our beautiful surroundings.
I don’t remember now at what point we finally made this decision. We tossed so many ideas around from one year to the next – pursuing some – forgetting others, looking for a way to not be eating Alpo in retirement. But then it came – the day a 24-foot, black, custom-built trailer frame with four wheels nearly swallowed up the driveway.
Three months ago we moved into 350 square feet parked in a rural RV Park/tiny home community and left our wonderful urban neighborhood with huge, old pecan trees, mid-century brick homes, and a street full of kids my children had the freedom to play with whenever they wanted. Our ideas of buying the house we were renting fell by the wayside as the taxes alone raised our rent $250 a month. I’ve moved dozens of times in my life and never wept the last time I walked through a house. Until this one. My husband says it felt like losing a member of the family. The grieving process has been real including the “magical thinking” of planning how to buy it back someday.
Our friends and relatives showed enthusiastic support for our tiny-house building endeavor. We imagined ourselves as the cool ones who dared to step out and do what most people just follow on Instagram. Some spoke of the simplicity of downsizing while others thanked us for doing something to lessen our carbon footprint as they felt helpless to change their own lifestyle.
More than these noble sounding ideals, our desire for economic survival drove our effort and kept us going when the money and physical stamina ran low. It took a huge effort for us to save the money and spend weekends driving to another city to work on it. We moved into it still not finished, broke and exhausted, slowly knocking out the list to finish the inside as we can. In fact I’m blogging here as a way to avoid having to get up and paint the window trim.
I heard a wise man who lives in a van explain the difference between a person who lives in their vehicle by choice versus the one who ends up that way due to their own folly or unexpected curveball in life. For one it’s an epic failure but for the other, a path to freedom from the slavery of rents and owning things. Now that we are settling in, I feel a conflicting mix of both sentiments.
I do love this little place. I do NOT miss the stress of keeping up a normal size house and yard, constantly trying to find ways to get the family to do their fair share. I’d lose my mind every few months and make out lists and ask people what they would commit to do but it always fell by the wayside somehow and I’d find myself doing it all again. No, I don’t miss that.
I do see potential surplus income that could be used for travel and fun things we couldn’t do before. It’s still theoretical at this point, digging out of the hole we dug in our last life.
But Thanksgiving this year was tough. For years our house operated as the family hub, but now my kitchen and living area could not produce the meal or accommodate the bodies. I asked our landlord how much he would charge to use the event building on the property that he rents out for weddings. $150/an hour. During the day. All the affordable Airbnb rentals were taken because that bright idea came too late. We opted for one day with our older daughter at her apartment and our daughter-in-law’s parents invited us over the next day. We enjoyed a wonderful meal in their beautiful home and were able to spend some time with our son who is busy with college and work.
But my pride began to suffer as I looked around at all they had while they showed off their hobbies and talked of their yearly cruises. It’s hard not to look back at many regrettable decisions that led to living in a tiny house because you could find no other palatable financial option. It’s not that I want all that – I don’t. But when you feel pushed out of the game, it’s harder.
In the end, it really is all just a game and I must remind myself that we chose to not play by the rules a long time ago when we decided to homeschool kids on a working-class single income. And then, had more kids. Many other factors have also played into our situation such as selling investments when we should have held on, and things outside our control as well.
But last night after the second cold day of drizzle we set up our folding table and played board games with popcorn and hot chocolate, something we never did as a family in the old place. Much hilarity ensued and I wondered out loud if my son had a touch of cabin fever!
I choose to believe that even though sacrifices seem large at times, the benefits will balance it all out. I’ve made it a daily practice to be grateful since moving here but sometimes the negative side of life gets to me when I feel like we have gone as far as we can, and it still seems inadequate. While we are saving a lot from our last living situation, the reality is we got our expenses down to our previous 2011 level and our income has remained about the same. Realizing we may have done all this to still just squeak by keeps me up at night sometimes if I let it. Health care and car expenses could easily overtake our new budget. I try to not worry about what hasn’t happened, and may never. The lifestyle choice is a done deal for now. Note to self – the perspective on the lifestyle – also a choice.
Healing Road 