First Waves

Continuing on with this hurricane analogy, we are seeing the first bands of storm blowing in. Realizations. I lost a night of sleep when I fully realized how badly we have failed to address this. I didn’t expect much, but I did not expect failure on this level. Realized, many of us have already had it. It’s been out and about for many weeks. It seemed like it “just arrived” because of confirmed tested cases where testing was denied before. But from all reports, testing still being largely denied. Still. Now I don’t expect it will ever be widely available here.

First week of February my daughter-in-law was in the hospital with pneumonia several days after onset of flu symptoms. She had started to feel better but then suddenly could not breath and had chest pain. I went to see her in the hospital. Masks were required in the room. I had a small and irrational (so I told myself) fear that maybe she had contracted the dreaded virus. She told me they had swabbed her nasal passage to test for flu. I thought to myself.. well if she doesn’t have the flu surely they will test for the other one and we will all know. I did not find out until this week that the flu test had come back negative and they never did the Covid-19 test.

I had been to see her and my son in their apartment when they were sick, taking them some medicines. We did not hug. I petted the dog. Three days later I came down with a “flu” that hit me like a truck. I felt better 2nd day, then 3rd day was down for the remainder of the week. Toward the end, when I was feeling better, I felt like a gorilla was on my chest. I don’t go to doctors unless I do feel I’m about to die, and it never got that far. I took my natural supplements and Mucinex offered no relief for this tightness in my chest. My lungs, a month later, still do not feel fully recovered.

The entire time small suspicions wandered through my mind but I kept telling myself it had to just be the flu. If it was here in our community someone would tell us. I thought I’d read that they were finally getting tests out. But then story after story of people still being denied tests. My brother who is in eastern Oregon was told by his doctor that he can’t get tests for any of his patients. Then I read estimates of 100s of thousands of cases in the U.S. because of weeks of extremely limited testing. I read that the tests cost too much and take too long. The system is too fragmented. Excuse after excuse like we are some prehistoric dinosaur of a country. At least our war technology is up to date. So glad for that. At the expense of everything else.

In Texas where we have around 27 million people, our governor proudly announced that we could now process 125 tests a day. Total. For the whole state.

Having strong evidence, and a gut feeling, that you’ve already had it – doesn’t even give much comfort because evidence exists that it doesn’t guarantee you won’t get it again. Or another strain of it. But it’s not myself I’m afraid of losing. I wouldn’t be upset to walk on from this ridiculous place honestly. The dread is from facing down the grief of premature separation from those we love. From worrying how we are going to keep a roof over our head if we have weeks without income.

This weekend the stores here were blown out completely. I’m glad we were ahead of the curve but so sad how easily people are led around by the nose and believe whatever they are told without looking at data or evidence. And yet much unknown remains.

This isn’t as bad as many things. It’s sad, and disruptive, but can’t compare to getting the shit bombed out of your city by a superpower, being locked down by an occupying power on a tiny piece of land, or living in a refugee or migrant camp and already having no defense against violence, disease, and the elements. It’s not as bad as an F5 tornado ripping through your neighborhood even. But all these these sufferings continue, and now add to this the threat of a new fatal illness. These are the ones I think of.

We can’t complain. We have a house (tiny as it may be), had time to prepare somewhat, and the resources to do so.

Once I get over being angry and sad, I will reaffirm my gratitude for the good things in life. I know these things – man made, or nature made matters not at this point – have been the way of nature since there has been life on this planet. Our illogical attachment to this life and each other when nature wants to cull and cleanse is what makes it all so uncomfortable. If only.. we were like Spock. Accept the logical enforcements of the balance of nature without hysteria.

But to be human is to accept that fear, panic, grief, anger and loss are all part of our puzzle as much as joy, gratitude, pleasure, and love. The first wave has passed. Today is calm, for the moment.

The Calm

I’ve always wondered what it would be like waiting for a hurricane. What does it feel like to sit on your porch (after you have boarded windows, stocked up on food, batteries and water) and enjoy the sunny breeze and birds chirping. The direct path of the storm is not yet known but in spite of the beautiful peaceful day, a sense of dread fills the air overshadowing what looks perfectly normal in every other way.

Maybe that’s not what it’s like at all. I’ve never waited on a hurricane to show up. But that’s how it feels this fine Spring day. The pear trees have all bloomed, the oak trees have buds about to leaf out, my garden is sprouting, and the birds are happily chirping at my feeder. My youngest son had his first little league game a few days ago. On the surface everything is wonderful. I do try to breathe in every moment. They seem to matter more now than before.

The first time I heard this new disease had been detected as spreading from person to person, I was concerned. Soon after, when the Chinese reported how long it could incubate and that a person could share it before they knew they were sick, I became certain this thing would find its way nearly everywhere. Weeks ago we began to prepare.

I was told over and over not to “panic”. People equated preparing with panic. Now that it’s obvious it’s growing here too – NOW they tell people to prepare, but “don’t panic”. I don’t feel prepared at all, but we’ve done what we can. I’ve begun hoarding things. I must have a depression era previous life because I see a use for everything. No more throwing away paper, cardboard, glass, or plastic containers and bags. I’ve planted some things. For years I’ve known how fragile and dependent our way of life is – yet my fellow citizens seem to feel we are untouchable. Can’t happen to us – not here. We are better, special.

Yesterday the first case was confirmed in the county next to us. The one my son lives in. The son who has lung damage from chemotherapy he received when he was 18. He is young – but that worries me. Today – the toilet paper disappeared from store shelves and a man came in the shop where I work and bought over $300 worth of vitamins and supplements for his family. He asked me if I thought it was like they were saying… like the flu. Nope. Not like that at all. Do people even know what happens anywhere else in the world?

Anyway, tomorrow is another beautiful day. I will enjoy the sunshine and warm breezes, but the dread remains. America isn’t special, or privileged when it comes to our biology. Our cells have the same receptors as everyone else. Our government has dropped the ball on so many fronts. No country can truly be ready for something like this. Some have acted quickly and efficiently and are able to minimize the damage. Others are being overrun and some are poised to be in that same position – trying to save face and financial markets till it’s too late – not a wise strategy in my opinion. I think in the end you lose all that you tried to save. But such is the way of mother nature and human nature. These events are not unknown, just forgotten.

June. Let’s see what it’s like then.

Are We Prepping Yet?

A few months ago, before we moved into our tiny house, a little voice in my head said to me, “You don’t have any back up food supply if there is an emergency.” I have no idea where it came from – but the impression came to me quite clearly and unexpectedly. I was turned off to prepping by preppers. I didn’t want to be an ammo-hoarding paranoid freak digging ditches in my backyard to line with concrete. Certain family members of mine had made a BIG deal out of Y2K and we did buy a few canned good, candles, and batteries – then felt silly when nothing happened. But hey, we did eventually use most of it.

Since then I’d not thought about preparing for anything. Basic survival from day to day took up our time, money, and energy and we succumbed to that “it won’t happen to me” attitude. Maybe it was the fires, tornadoes, hurricanes, and floods that finally brought me to my senses, but honestly – prepping was not even on my radar at all until this message came through to me from some unknown source. If you believe in Divine guidance, well there you are. If you don’t, then I have no idea either.

Even though we were trying to finish our house to move in, we started buying extra supplies every week. We made a list of things to stock up on and it’s still not complete. We were trying to anticipate everything from tornadoes (locally a real threat) to a giant solar flare with an EMP to wipe out all of modern civilization. Could happen, right? Food, medicine, household supplies, back-up energy sources, learning how to make stuff humans have forgotten how to do, etc. But still – on a very minor, elementary level. We are not really what most people would call preppers.

Enter 2020. Now I don’t feel so crazy. Let’s talk about little tiny nasty bits of RNA that float on the air, can infect any human orifice, take up to 24 days to cause symptoms (but can still be shared!) and many people may not go to a Dr. at all because symptoms are mild, and therefore not be tested or tracked because they think it’s just the flu or a cold. By the time a town realizes they have a spreader, well it’s pretty hard to clamp down on that.

Necessary measures to stop it cause extreme economic disruptions for citizens and commerce alike. The normal supply chains for goods may slow to a trickle. Local health services quickly overwhelmed with the 20% who develop severe symptoms and need extensive support for survival.

For weeks I’ve listened to people point to statistics that the seasonal flu is far worse. I’m thinking, no one shuts down whole cities with MILLIONS of people for the flu. No country takes that economic hit unless it’s extremely serious. I’ve learned about R0 factors (the rate of spread) of a disease, case fatality rates, aerosol vs. droplet transmission, and many other biological science facts I never wanted to know. I’ve watched governments unwilling to tell the truth for economic reasons (I think that will haunt everyone later), and unwilling to really clamp down on potential risks.

But don’t panic! Really don’t. Just quietly start prepare. Stock up. Save up. Maybe even apply for extra credit if you can’t save up. How will you pay bills if you can’t go to work for 4-6 weeks? Last I checked the working class cannot telecommute. I know so many people living hand to mouth – barely getting by from week to week. We can’t stay home when we are sick. We can’t afford to. We don’t go the Dr because so many of us don’t have health care. Or if we do, still have to pay an outrageous deductible.

If you can prepare, please do. For yourself and maybe someone else who can’t. If it all dies off by July, then GREAT! We are still dealing with extreme weather events, an economy that is already a balloon about to pop even without an impending plague, civil unrest about to erupt if certain people don’t get their way in elections, and about 4 or 5 other ways the world could crumble. It’s an interesting time to be alive.

To end on a positive note, I believe when bad things happen, very good things can come of it. World War II did wonders for the status of women in our society. Some very unhealthy structures in this world need to be reorganized. You never know how a crisis can reshape the world. So the goal is to get through to the other side, help others if possible, and look with interest to what the future may bring when the dust settles.

What is your little inner voice telling you?

My best source for updates on the virus: https://youtu.be/uS821v3_E50 Dr John Campbell out of the UK who has had his head on straight since this started and has a great archive if you want to look into it further.

Our source for freeze-dried emergency food stores http://www.thrivelife.com/filledcup All profit will be used to help others until this thing is over. LONG shelf life

Next post – how to strengthen your immune system!